I give up

I can’t do this anymore. I’m exhausted all the time. I’m in pain all the time. I’m lucky when it’s only mild pain. More often it’s severe pain. I’m sometimes happy, but I always return to being depressed. But what’s really doing me in is my increasing inability to concentrate. I just can’t do it.

I’ve known for years that I had depression, anxiety, migraine, asthma, and anemia. When I was diagnosed last year with fibromyalgia, it made perfect sense. I’m pretty sure I’ve had it since childhood.

But I’ve realized in the last few years that I’m also autistic and have ADHD.

When I was a kid, they didn’t think girls could even be autistic or have ADHD. (Yeah, that’s what happens when you list only the symptoms of boys who have it and say “these are the criteria.” Kind of like when they write cardiology textbooks and only describe heart attacks in men, and then a woman goes to the hospital having a heart attack and they say, “You’re not having the textbook symptoms of a heart attack, therefore you’re not having one. Go home,” and she goes home and she dies.)

I’m realizing now how much autism and ADHD have affected my inability to make a living. I have tried. I have really, really tried. But there are so many things one needs to do to make a business really work that my brain just cannot do.

And getting a job somewhere is just something I don’t have the energy to do anymore. I get really tired. And executive dysfunction and inability to concentrate are big problems in pretty much any job.

I’m in the beginning stages of applying for disability.

I am not going to be making jewelry anymore. I just can’t do it anymore. I started selling off some of my beads in another etsy shop I opened a few weeks ago, TreetownBeads.etsy.com (yeah, I forgot to tell you about that. Told you my brain wasn’t working). I’ve been adding things pretty slowly (because I have no energy), so let me know if there’s something you’re looking for.

I took down the listings for custom spinning. Realistically, I am not going to have the energy to deal with carding someone’s fiber, so yeah…no. And I am not going to take any custom orders for jewelry. I still have a few pieces of jewelry that came back from a gallery that I haven’t had the energy to photograph and list yet (are you seeing a pattern here?), but I will not be making any new pieces. If you want to buy any of my jewelry, ever, well, it’s now or never.

I still have a ton of my mom’s jewelry to list. I think I’m going to start putting some things up in lots rather than individual items. When I have the energy.

National All or Nothing Day

I read that today is National All or Nothing Day:

“We all have dreams we hold back, decisions left to make or plans uncompleted. On this day, people break free of everything holding them back. Everyone has at least one thing that they would like to overcome, need to do or want to do but might be fearful or hesitant to do so. This is the day to go ahead and do it, take that first step and go for it.”

And I realized…you know, I consider myself an artist, but I’m not making any art.

For a while, I had a good excuse. I broke my wrist. And then my mom died.

But over a month passed between the time I made something and the time I broke my wrist. What happened?

I think I started feeling like, “No one buys my jewelry. Why bother making it?” I wasn’t getting enough positive feedback. I made several pieces in September that I thought were awesome, and I was sure they would sell. They didn’t. I made some other pieces in December that I thought were awesome, completely different from the others, and I thought they would sell, and they didn’t.

was passionate about yarn and fiber, and I ended up $40k in debt. I was passionate about making jewelry, and I was still not making enough money to live on. That made it hard to keep the passion alive.

I started studying coding, planning to transition to work I could do that would pay more, but after my mom died, my brain was too scrambled to concentrate. I figured I would come back to it later. And now I’m spending most of my time selling vintage jewelry.

I like the vintage jewelry.

But…

I’m still not making enough money.

And I’m still not making art.

In my soul, I’m an artist. I need to make art.

And I need to make money to live in this society, since banks and grocery stores don’t accept earrings as payment.

I’m not sure where I’m really going with this. I just know I need to change something, and I don’t know what or how.

In the meantime, my bank account is hungry, so in honor of National All or Nothing Day, use the coupon code ALLORNOTHING in either shop to get 26% off your purchase. Valid now through Sunday night on all items except custom spinning services.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/RiinGillDesign?coupon=ALLORNOTHING
https://www.etsy.com/shop/MamaLikedShinyThings?coupon=ALLORNOTHING

Mama Liked Shiny Things

I mentioned it everywhere else, but forgot to mention it here (my brain may be a little fried) — I opened an etsy shop to sell my mom’s vintage and antique jewelry. Mama Liked Shiny Things (because she really did!).

Don’t worry; I’m keeping some of her jewelry. The pieces that really speak to me. But most of her jewelry isn’t really me, though a lot of the pieces are really beautiful and interesting. I’m having a good time researching vintage jewelry and learning a lot. Using clues to gather more information, like the type of catch on a brooch narrowing the time period when it could have been made, reminds me of when I used to do interlibrary loan. I like it!

It’s going to take a long time to get everything researched, photographed, edited, and listed, but I’m getting a few things up every day or so. Like this Austrian gold tone mesh and rhinestone brooch from the 1950s.

vintage austrian brooch, gold tone mesh with green and clear rhinestones

I wish I could ask my mom more about some of these pieces, but I can’t. I remember some of them from when I was a kid, but there are so many I’ve never seen before. And there are some I remember her wearing. I was even with her when she bought some of them.

Life Sucks, And Then It Sucks Some More.

So you all know I’m broke, and I’ve been looking for a job while also trying to get people to buy my handmade jewelry or handspun yarn or hire me for web design.

Yesterday I took a break from all that and went for a walk. And I slipped in the slush and fell and either sprained or broke my wrist. I’ll find out which later today. Meanwhile I’m typing this with one hand. And I’m cursing the pain with every passing second.

Having the use of only one hand and being in excruciating pain makes it pretty hard to work on a website. Or write a cover letter. Or make jewelry. Or spin yarn.

Meanwhile, my bank balance keeps growing more and more negative. I need money, and I need it at a rate that outpaces the overdraft fees. (I called and got them to reverse some, but not all of the recent overdraft fees.)

Here are the ways you can help me:

• donate money to me here, now

• buy handmade jewelry I’ve already made

• buy handspun yarn I’ve already spun

• commission custom spinning with your fiber  (pay 50% up front, and the rest upon completion. I will begin work on your project when my wrist allows. The first to order is the first in the queue)

• commission a website. Contact me to tell me what you want. We’ll discuss the project and agree upon a price. You’ll pay 50% up front, and the rest upon completion. I will begin work on your project when my wrist allows. The first to order is the first in the queue.

• share this with your friends!

Thanks!


Oh crap

I’ve been taking a break from making jewelry this month and spending my time looking for a day job (it’s become clear that this business is never going to pay me enough to live). I’m hoping once I have a job I can continue to make jewelry on the side, but right now, I don’t even have the mental energy to go there. 

I’ve been basing my budget on an average of the last several months’ income, and unfortunately, this month skewed way low. I should have had enough money for another three weeks or so, but I’m out of money. 

So I’m having a sale because I need money now. Everything in my shop is 25% off now through the end of the month. No coupon necessary. 

Go there now. Buy lots of stuff. Tell all your friends. Please.

Thank you!

New designs and holiday shipping deadlines

It took me several weeks to make these necklaces; when I started them, I was only able to work two hours a day, so progress was pretty slow. By the end though, I was able to work 5-6 hours a day (I am feeling so much better!), so these necklaces represent a sort of victory for me!

 

They are all up on etsy now. From left to right: Upper Peninsula copper ore with vintage mother of pearl buttonocean jasper with Baltic amberrain forest jasper with garnetbumblebee jasper teardrop, and bumblebee jasper triangle, all set in fine and sterling silver. I hope you like them as much as I do!

Do you need to get a gift order somewhere before Christmas? The last day for ordering is December 19. I can’t guarantee it will get there in time, but USPS says it should, for US addresses. So, you should order sooner if you can. (This applies to in stock items. If you need me to make you something, if you order it NOW, I MAY be able to get it there in time. I will try!)

Last chance! This is the last day of my 20% off sale!


It’s Monday, so that means it’s the last day of my 20% off sale.

Copper moonscape earrings

Yes, time flies. Don’t ask me to explain it. I’m time impaired.

All I can tell you is today, everything in my shop is 20% off. Tomorrow everything will be back to full price.

Today all US orders ship for free. Tomorrow you’ll have to pay for shipping.

If you want to buy awesome handmade jewelry or handspun yarn and save some money (which you could then spend on something else, like chocolate), then shop now.

If you want to spend more, then wait. (No chocolate for you.)

 

It’s Small Business Saturday! Save 20% off everything with no minimum order!


Hey, it’s Small Business Saturday! I’ve expanded the sale so it’s now 20% off everything with no minimum order, and you don’t need a coupon.

And US orders ship for free!

silver and lapis earrings

Just go to my shop, and you’ll see the sale prices, next to the regular prices.

Sale prices are good through Monday, so don’t dawdle.

 

Hey, you want 20% off?


Yes. Yes, you do.

etsy coupon november 2018

For the next seven days, i.e., now through next Monday 11/26/18, save 20% on purchases of $75 or more when you use the coupon code ETSYCYBER2018 in my shop.

Also get free US shipping on orders of $75 or more with coupon code FREESHIPCYBERWEEK. (I think you can use both coupons, but I’m not completely sure about that.)

All jewelry purchases come in a black gift box with green ribbon, perfect for gift giving. And if one of those gifts should happen to be to yourself, well, hey, it was on sale. How could you not?

Slowly I get things done


I added five new pairs of earrings to the shop last week. Like a turtle wading through molasses, I’m finally showing them to you now. [I finally got a diagnosis for my exhaustion and pain. I have fibromyalgia. I’m not happy to have it, but I’m glad to finally have a diagnosis. I’ll be writing more about that in a later post. As you might imagine, I have a lot to say about it.]

But for now, earrings. All images link to their respective listings in the shop.

Copper moonscape earrings

Perforated sterling silver earrings with lapis

Foldformed bumpy copper earrings with lapis and bronzite

Foldformed copper earrings with kambaba jasper

Copper and silver earrings with Chinese turquoise