Mama Liked Shiny Things

I mentioned it everywhere else, but forgot to mention it here (my brain may be a little fried) — I opened an etsy shop to sell my mom’s vintage and antique jewelry. Mama Liked Shiny Things (because she really did!).

Don’t worry; I’m keeping some of her jewelry. The pieces that really speak to me. But most of her jewelry isn’t really me, though a lot of the pieces are really beautiful and interesting. I’m having a good time researching vintage jewelry and learning a lot. Using clues to gather more information, like the type of catch on a brooch narrowing the time period when it could have been made, reminds me of when I used to do interlibrary loan. I like it!

It’s going to take a long time to get everything researched, photographed, edited, and listed, but I’m getting a few things up every day or so. Like this Austrian gold tone mesh and rhinestone brooch from the 1950s.

vintage austrian brooch, gold tone mesh with green and clear rhinestones

I wish I could ask my mom more about some of these pieces, but I can’t. I remember some of them from when I was a kid, but there are so many I’ve never seen before. And there are some I remember her wearing. I was even with her when she bought some of them.

Life, Death, and Angst

me with my mom in 1967

My mom died last week. She was 77.

She had been sick for several months, but I didn’t realize how serious it was, because she’d been sick for most of her life, really. She had been in and out of hospitals for my whole life. Even before I was born. So I didn’t realize this was different.

And then I got a message that she was in hospice.

And before I could really get used to that, the next day I got a phone call that she had died that morning.

It all happened so fast.

And then there was her funeral. And two days later I turned 54. But for the first time ever, she didn’t call to wish me a happy birthday. I don’t have a mom anymore.

I didn’t always have the best relationship with her. We didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, and she was very critical of me at times.

But she taught me how to sew. And she taught me how to do long division when my fifth grade teacher seemed to be pulling numbers out of her ass. And she read a lot, so I observed that reading was a thing that people did for pleasure.

I know she loved me, even if it didn’t feel like it sometimes. But now she’s gone.

And now I’m 54, and I’m looking back on the past year, and I’m thinking, man, that was a really shitty year. A few good things happened, but mostly really shitty things happened.

Rob left me and told me he had never been in love with me. That’s pretty shitty. I had a several month fibro flare and major depression. Shitty. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Good to finally get a diagnosis, but shitty to have it. I became destitute. Shitty. I gained 30 pounds in about six months. Shitty. I met Russell. Yay, finally a good thing. I fell and broke my wrist. Totally shitty. It still hurts. I started taking coding classes online. Good. And then my mom died. That’s just totally shitty.

I am due for a lot of good stuff to start happening.

Do you hear that, Universe? Good stuff. I am due for good stuff to happen. A lot of good stuff needs to happen to me now.